Second Grade Squared

The school year started for us back in July. I didn’t know really where to pick back up since my last post was eons ago. I became very ill after our summer vacation to the west coast. Long story short, I started having agonizing pains that came and went randomly. It took us over a year to find out that I was having serious gallbladder problems. I finally had it removed this summer before the school year began and I’m just now getting back to feeling like myself.

Note to readers: pray you never have to have any type of surgery while raising kids. Since Ryan is a teacher, he was available to help full-time around the house while I was in recovery from surgery. And while my husband was absolutely wonderful, I couldn’t help but cringe when he wouldn’t do my “job” the way I did, LOL! He did literally everything for me during my recovery, and I had to just watch as my household plunged into a less than typical chaos. I am extremely grateful, both to A) have a husband who has the summers off of work and B) have a husband who is 100% a team player (I mean he tried really hard to fill my shoes). Hahaha, that’s seriously the hardest part of recovery if you’re a parent; watching someone else cover for you without being able to help or do it yourself.

Both Dylan and Gabby have started second grade this year…I have double second graders!! That’s basically second grade SQUARED. At the beginning, they were pretty stoked about moving up a grade level. Dylan was excited to finally be leaving 1st grade behind, as we held him back a year. Gabby was just happy to be going back to seeing her friends. We’ve only been back at school for 3 months and we are already having crisis interventions from the school. Both kids are off to a rough start for different reasons.

Dylan was held back in first grade at our request because he was so far behind with learning how to read. He did much better his second time in first grade, but still struggled with his reading and comprehension. We found out at the end of the school year that he has several vision problems: astigmatism, hyperopia, a binocular dysfunction, an accommodative infacility, and oculomotor dysfunction (Translation: basically his eye muscles don’t work together with his brain). He is receiving vision therapy weekly from an ocular specialist, and is slowly making improvements with the vision games they send home to help train his brain and eyes to function as a team. Dylan actually is developing an interest in reading even though trying to read on demand still stresses him out. He’s also kind of lazy and hates doing anything that is appears the slightest like “homework”. Something tells me that hating homework or work of any kind is a typical kid behavior that he’s just going to have to get over. I hate doing housework, but it’s my job and it keeps my home from looking and smelling like a petting zoo! I’d trade jobs with my son in a millisecond if I could, even with all that common core math we have nowadays; I just need to make Dylan see that there are worse things than being stuck doing ones homework every night!!

Dylan has been getting bullied at school by some of his peers who tease him. He’s the kind of kid who wears his emotions on his sleeve and other kids have picked up on it. If he’s having a difficult time with his work and gets upset, the kids start ribbing him about being a crybaby. He reacts by internalizing his anger about being teased until he finally explodes like a volcano. So far, he’s had 2 disciplinary referrals for kicking chairs in class during incidents where he was being teased. My husband and I are working on getting Dylan to get him to just laugh off mean things kids say to him. Hopefully that approach will work and help keep him out of trouble.

Gabby on the other hand is the complete opposite of her brother. She is never bullied for anything! The kids at school are too scared of her meltdowns to ever tease her. I think the school told me at one of my weekly meetings with the school appointed therapist that my child is on a shortlist of children with extreme behavior problems at the school.  She has already had several disciplinary referrals for not following directions, meltdowns, or violent outbursts. Thankfully, Gabby doesn’t have any learning disabilities so we know she is capable of doing well in school.

The only unfortunate thing about having a child who has tantrums frequently is that these behaviors keep her out of class pretty often. As a result, she has to be isolated from her peers and misses a lot of classroom instruction from the teacher. Gabby’s grades suffer because she gets less time to finish tests and assignments due to being pulled out of class for having a meltdown. Things are also made more difficult by the fact that her meltdowns are very hard to predict. One day this sets her off and the next day she’s okay with that, which makes tantrum prevention very tough on the staff at school. All of the school staff members have been doing a fantastic job in dealing with Gabby’s behavior issues. Gabby gets social stories throughout her day to help her with transitions from one subject to another. She is rewarded for her good behavior with a sticker chart. Her sticker chart has two types of rewards: short term and long term. Short term rewards consist of prizes like a piece of candy or a small knick-knack at the end of each day. Long term rewards are specially arranged meetings with a friend who is in 1st grade, lunch with a teacher/adult, or a game on the computer. She has so much support from behavior specialists, occupational specialists, therapists, school psychologists, and special education teachers who are really working with her to get the best behavior out of her.

Positives about 2nd Grade:

1. My kids can actually handle most homework without constant supervision. I can finally get some cleaning done while they work quietly on math worksheets or reading. Seems like a bonus to me!
2. The school staff is pretty familiar with us…so there is no awkwardness when one of the kids misbehaves or gets into trouble. I’ve actually memorized all of the school telephone extensions, so I know who is calling and usually what it’s about before I answer the phone.
3. My kids feel like they’ve leveled up in life, and are able to take on more responsibilities (AKA chores)!

Negatives about 2nd Grade:

1. Peers have begun to influence my kids’ decisions…my daughter recently told me “kids don’t wear that, that’s for babies”; it was a Frozen t-shirt that she loved wearing, but now we can’t have any clothing with characters on them! She is only in 2nd Grade!!! I thought we had at least until 4th Grade for things to become more sophisticated, but now characters on anything is for “babies”!
2. The school staff is familiar with us…so I can no longer get away with little white lies. “My child would never behave in such a manner”, “What do you mean, my kid stabbed someone with a pencil?” It won’t work anymore, LOL!!!
3. My kids think they are older now, and therefore they know more than me. At least this is what they believe. They have become bolder and much more manipulative when it comes to trying to get away with murder!

 

Both kids are improving as the year goes on, but I already know we have a long, trying school year ahead. Bring it on!